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第13章 the￡1000000 banknte（第1页）

kTwain

WhenIwastwenty-sevenyearsold，Iwasamining-broker&aos;sclerkinSanFrancisco，andanexertinallthedetailsofstocktraffic。Iwasaloneintheworld，andhadnothingtodeenduonbutmywitsandacleanreutation;buttheseweresettingmyfeetintheroadtoeventualfortune，andIwascontentwiththerosect。

Mytimewasmyownaftertheafternoonboard，Saturdays，andIwasaccustomedtoutitinonalittlesail-boatonthebay。OnedayIventuredtoofar，andwascarriedouttosea。Justatnightfall，whenhoewasaboutgone，IwasickedubyasmallbrigwhichwasboundforLondon。Itwasalongandstormyvoyage，andtheymademeworkmyassagewithoutay，asacommonsailor。WhenIsteedashoreinLondonmyclotheswereraggedandshabby，andIhadonlyadollarinmyocket。Thismoneyfedandshelteredmetwenty-fourhours。Duringthenexttwenty-fourIwentwithoutfoodandshelter。

Aboutteno&aos;clockonthefollowingmorning，seedyandhungry，IwasdraggingmyselfalongPortlandPlace，whenachildthatwasassing，towedbyanurse-maid，tossedalusciousbigear-minusonebite-intothegutter。Istoed，ofcourse，andfastenedmydesiringeyeonthatmuddytreasure。Mymouthwateredforit，mystomachcravedit，mywholebeingbeggedforit。ButeverytimeImadeamovetogetitsomeassingeyedetectedmyurose，andofcourseIstraighteneduthen，andlookedindifferent，andretendedthatIhadn&aos;tbeenthinkingabouttheearatall。Thissamethingkethaeningandhaening，andIcouldn&aos;tgettheear。Iwasjustgettingdeserateenoughtobravealltheshame，andtoseizeit，whenawindowbehindmewasraised，andagentlemansokeoutofit，saying:

"Steinhere，lease。

"

Iwasadmittedbyagorgeousflunkey，andshownintoasumtuousroomwhereacouleofelderlygentlemenweresitting。Theysentawaytheservant，andmademesitdown。Theyhadjustfinishedtheirbreakfast，andthesightoftheremainsofitalmostoveroweredme。Icouldhardlykeemywitstogetherintheresenceofthatfood，butasIwasnotaskedtosamleit，IhadtobearmytroubleasbestIcould。

Now，somethinghadbeenhaeningtherealittlebefore，whichIdidnotknowanythingaboutuntilagoodmanydaysafterwards，butIwilltellyouaboutitnow。Thosetwooldbrothershadbeenhavingarettyhotargumentacouleofdaysbefore，andhadendedbyagreeingtodecideitbyabet，whichistheEnglishwayofsettlingeverything。

YouwillrememberthattheBankofEnglandonceissuedtwonotesofamillionoundseach，tobeusedforasecialuroseconnectedwithsomeublictransactionwithaforeigncountry。Forsomereasonorotheronlyoneofthesehadbeenusedandcanceled;theotherstilllayinthevaultsoftheBank。Well，thebrothers，chattingalong，haenedtogettowonderingwhatmightbethefateofaerfectlyhonestandintelligentstrangerwhoshouldbeturnedadriftinLondonwithoutafriend，andwithnomoneybutthatmillion-oundbank-note，andnowaytoaccountforhisbeinginossessionofit。BrotherAsaidhewouldstarvetodeath;BrotherBsaidhewouldn&aos;t。BrotherAsaidhecouldn&aos;tofferitatabankoranywhereelse，becausehewouldbearrestedonthesot。SotheywentondisutingtillBrotherBsaidhewouldbettwentythousandoundsthatthemanwouldlivethirtydays，anyway，onthatmillion，andkeeoutofjail，too。BrotherAtookhimu。BrotherBwentdowntotheBankandboughtthatnote。JustlikeanEnglishman，yousee;lucktothebackbone。Thenhedictatedaletter，whichoneofhisclerkswroteoutinabeautifulroundhand，andthenthetwobrotherssatatthewindowawholedaywatchingfortherightmantogiveitto。

Theysawmanyhonestfacesgobythatwerenotintelligentenough;manythatwereintelligent，butnothonestenough;manythatwereboth，buttheossessorswerenotoorenough，or，ifoorenough，werenotstrangers。Therewasalwaysadefect，untilIcamealong;buttheyagreedthatIfilledthebillallaround;sotheyelectedmeunanimously，andthereIwasnowwaitingtoknowwhyIwascalledin。Theybegantoaskmequestionsaboutmyself，andrettysoontheyhadmystory。FinallytheytoldmeIwouldanswertheirurose。IsaidIwassincerelyglad，andaskedwhatitwas。Thenoneofthemhandedmeanenveloe，andsaidIwouldfindtheexlanationinside。Iwasgoingtooenit，buthesaidno;takeittomylodgings，andlookitovercarefully，andnotbehastyorrash。Iwasuzzled，andwantedtodiscussthematteralittlefurther，buttheydidn&aos;t;soItookmyleave，feelinghurtandinsultedtobemadethebuttofwhatwasaarentlysomekindofaracticaljoke，andyetobligedtoutuwithit，notbeingincircumstancestoresentaffrontsfromrichandstrongfolk。

Iwouldhaveickedutheearnowandeatenitbeforealltheworld，butitwasgone;soIhadlostthatbythisunluckybusiness，andthethoughtofitdidnotsoftenmyfeelingtowardsthosemen。AssoonasIwasoutofsightofthathouseIoenedmyenveloe，andsawthatitcontainedmoney!Myoinionofthoseeolechanged，Icantellyou!Ilostnotamoment，butshovednoteandmoneyintomyvestocket，andbrokeforthenearesteatinghouse。Well，howIdideat!WhenatlastIcouldn&aos;tholdanymore，Itookoutmymoneyandunfoldedit，tookoneglimseandnearlyfainted。Fivemillionsofdollars!Why，itmademyheadswim。

ImusthavesattherestunnedandblinkingatthenoteasmuchasaminutebeforeIcamerightlytomyselfagain。ThefirstthingInoticed，then，wasthelandlord。Hiseyewasonthenote，andhewasetrified。Hewasworshiing，withallhisbodyandsoul，buthelookedasifhecouldn&aos;tstirhandorfoot。Itookmycueinamoment，anddidtheonlyrationalthingtherewastodo。Ireachedthenotetowardshim，andsaid，carelessly:

"Givemethechange，lease。

"

Thenhewasrestoredtohisnormalcondition，andmadeathousandaologiesfornotbeingabletobreakthebill，andIcouldn&aos;tgethimtotouchit。Hewantedtolookatit，andkeeonlookingatit;hecouldn&aos;tseemtogetenoughofittoquenchthethirstofhiseye，butheshrankfromtouchingitasifithadbeensomethingtoosacredforoorcommonclaytohandle。Isaid:

"Iamsorryifitisaninconvenience，butImustinsist。Pleasechangeit;Ihaven&aos;tanythingelse。

"Buthesaidthatwasn&aos;tanymatter;hewasquitewillingtoletthetriflestandovertillanothertime。IsaidImightnotbeinhisneighborhoodagainforagoodwhile;buthesaiditwasofnoconsequence，hecouldwait，and，moreover，IcouldhaveanythingIwanted，anytimeIchose，andlettheaccountrunaslongasIleased。Hesaidhehoedhewasn&aos;tafraidtotrustasrichagentlemanasIwas，merelybecauseIwasofamerrydisosition，andchosetolaylarksontheublicinthematterofdress。Bythistimeanothercustomerwasentering，andthelandlordhintedtometoutthemonsteroutofsight;thenhebowedmeallthewaytothedoor，andIstartedstraightforthathouseandthosebrothers，tocorrectthemistakewhichhadbeenmadebeforetheoliceshouldhuntmeu，andhelmedoit。Iwasrettynervous;infact，rettybadlyfrightened，though，ofcourse，Iwasnowayinfault;butIknewmenwellenoughtoknowthatwhentheyfindthey&aos;vegivenatramamillion-oundbillwhentheythoughtitwasaone-ounder，theyareinafranticrageagainsthiminsteadofquarrelingwiththeirownnear-sightedness，astheyought。AsIaroachedthehousemyexcitementbegantoabate，forallwasquietthere，whichmademefeelrettysuretheblunderwasnotdiscoveredyet。Irang。Thesameservantaeared。Iaskedforthosegentlemen。

"Theyaregone。

"Thisinthelofty，coldwayofthatfellow&aos;stribe。

"Gone?Gonewhere?

"

"Onajourney。

"

"Butwhereabouts?

"

"TotheContinent，Ithink。

"

"TheContinent?

"

"Yes，sir。

"

"Whichway-bywhatroute?

"

"Ican&aos;tsay，sir。

"

"Whenwilltheybeback?

"

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